DINNER CONVERSATIONS WITH MY OMA
She is a globetrotter. She is a businesswoman - a perfect example of what it takes to succeed as an entrepreneur. She is an artist, with her artwork on display in galleries, embedded in murals, and framed all around her house. She is a gentle woman, whose positivity and light radiates like the sunshine she adores. She is the glass-half-full and is always on the hunt for the gold at the end of the rainbow she firmly believes is there. She is the light in the midst of the gloomiest of night skies. She is a firefly soul with a yearning for learning, even still in her 80s. She is a mother of two and a grandmother of eleven. She is my Oma, my grandma.
What began as little notes of all of the advice she has given me over the years has turned into quite the list of beautiful reminders I turn to when in need. So, I feel it is only right that I let you in on the secrets to happiness, to life, to education, and so much more I have been ever-so-stingily keeping to myself. My wish is that you find it just as valuable as I do.
On decision making:
“There is a saying I have always told myself and your mother: ‘onward and upward.’ Now, I’m not saying you won’t ever fall backward or downward, but every decision you make should be made with that goal in mind: onward and upward. When you’re presented with a fork in the road, always make the decision that brings you closer to your goal. It is also so important to take risks in your life. After I was newly divorced, I moved to a new country with my daughter hand-in-hand, two suitcases, and without the promise of a job. That decision didn’t come lightly - I thought about it for a long time, and weighed all of the pros and cons. The one thing I couldn’t ignore, however, was my gut. When your gut is telling you to do one thing over another - listen. Your gut is your higher self speaking to you and guiding you. And then - once you arrive at a decision - be confident enough to follow through immediately. Full throttle ahead. The waiting phase came while you were weighing your options. If you truly believe a decision is right for you, bring it to life!”
On relationships:
“While you may have several standards and expectations for a potential partner, the most important, top of the list, non-negotiable requirement of someone you are investing in a relationship with is respect. Mutual respect. Someone who remains respectful of your individuality and what you bring to the table as a person, and vice versa. You are never going to find your clone of a human being. Appreciate those differences as long as they don’t compromise your integrity. The second most important: that you love them and that they treat you well. You should never try to change someone; find the person who encourages you to be the best version of yourself, motivates you to follow your heart, and pushes you to reach your goals.
You also need a partner who shares the same principles, rather than values, because their principles and morals will guide such values. These same principles will ensure you are traveling through life in the same direction and toward the same end-goals. Think of it as what you both want to be doing when you’re 80 years old; two lines with arrows pointing in the same direction usually means you’re compatible.”
On mistakes and painful situations:
“You never stop learning. Socrates said it best: ‘The only thing I know is that I know nothing.’ Every experience you encounter in life is an opportunity to learn - to grow. Did you have a bad relationship? You now know what red flags to look for in the next person. You now know what you need, what you want, and what you are willing to sacrifice when it comes to your next relationship. Did you make a mistake that hurt someone? Reflect on what you learned from it and what you can take with you to ensure you are working to become the best version of yourself.”
On life:
“You are an asset. And you have assets. The two most valuable assets you possess include your life experiences and your education - whether it is a high school diploma, technical skills, a bachelor’s degree, or a doctorate. No matter the level of education you have earned, use it to your advantage and sell yourself. Your life experiences shape who you are and reward you with perspectives you can bring to the table. When I moved, I had nothing other than my wisdom and experience accumulated - I held those things close and used them to propel myself and my career. I started from nothing yet made everything of myself to provide for your mother. Every moment of life is worth living. The good, the bad - they’re all a gift given to you so you can learn, can grow, and can make them your assets.”
My Oma is an inspiration to me, to all of her grandchildren, and I hope to you as well. She built a life she is proud of and continues to do all that makes her life worth living: love her family, travel the world, and learn every day. To keep her mind refreshed, she still attends college classes at nearly 80 years old. If you take nothing else from this piece, remember this: the power of the mind is incomparable. The way you speak to yourself and the affirmations you repeat daily are so incredibly valuable. If you want something, tell yourself you already have it. If you want to accomplish a goal, believe in your heart of hearts that you have already done so. Speak everything into existence. Love yourself, follow your gut, and always, always, take the risks that make you happy.
